Super Sakurazukamori
by Madhatter2
Summary: Secretly, Seishirou is... the SUPER SAKURAZUKAMORI! Which is actually no different from the regular Sakurazukamori. This fanfic is a parody... fear it. I know I do.


Super Sakurazukamori: A Parody  A warning: this parody was written at 12:30 in the morning, right after I'd watched the second Tokyo Babylon OAV. I'd had quite a bit of sugar, and Genkibat was hyper, too. (I don't know why.) Thus, this fic is really, really weird. Subaru and Seishirou are VERY OOC... there's some yaoi, too (sorta).   
And the disclaimer... Subaru and Seishirou are not mine, they are the property of Clamp, and probably some other people. I WISH they were mine, but sadly enough, it is not to be... Miaka and Tamahome aren't mine either, although I don't really want them. ^_^;; They belong to Watase Yuu and miscellaneous others. Don't sue me, you won't get anything out of it... ::looks at her empty wallet sadly::   
The Man, however, IS mine. But you can take him. ^_^   
-Madhatter 

Super Sakurazukamori   
A Parody   
by Madhatter and Genkibat 

By day, Sakurazuka Seishirou is a mild mannered veterinarian. By night, he is... SUPER SAKURAZUKAMORI! 

::insert cheesy theme song here:: 

Narrator (who disappears after this line): On one sunny afternoon, when the sakura were in bloom (of course), Seishirou was in his office, working on his newest patient... a cat who had ODed on catnip. 

::suddenly, Seishirou raises his head, a vengeful gleam in his eye:: 

Seishirou: Someone pushed Subaru down on the street! ::picks up the cat and shoves it into a random cage:: 

Seishirou: I must go avenge him! 

::Seishirou runs out of his office and into a nearby phonebooth. A few seconds later he emerges, looking... exactly the same. What, you actually thought SEISHIROU would wear a superhero outfit? Silly... he's too cool for Spandex.:: 

Seishirou: ::bounds down the street, while all the city's citizens ignore him for no reason:: Where is that scoundrel?! 

Subaru: ::on the street:: Someone help me! That bad, evil, cruel, mean, icky, no good, corrupt fashion victim PUSHED ME DOWN! ::sob sob:: 

Man Who Pushed Subaru (AKA Sakura Cannon Fodder): Fashion victim? 

Seishirou: ::bounds onto the scene:: Don't worry, Subaru! I'll save you! Just wait while I climb to the top of a lamppost or something so I can look really cool while saving you, okay? 

Subaru: Okay. 

Seishirou: ::climbs to the top of a nearby lamppost:: 

Man Who Pushed Subaru: Huh? ::totally confused:: 

Seishirou: You cannot push Subaru! He is MY prey! Now I shall teach you- 

Subaru: ::interrupts him with a cute wave:: I love you, Sei-chan! 

Seishirou: ...um... anyway. I'm gonna kill you now! 

Man Who Pushed Subaru: What's going on? 

Seishirou: ::kills the Man Who Pushed Subaru with his pretty magic and cherry blossoms and such, while the Man tries to figure out what's going on:: 

Subaru: Oh, Sei-chan, I don't think I can walk! ::faking it:: I must have broken my ankle or something! Carry me! ::holds out arms:: 

Seishirou: Sure, Subaru! ::picks him up:: Want to go to the park now, for the demanded Love Scene? 

Subaru: Sure! 

Man Who Pushed Subaru: What happened? 

Seishirou: I killed you. 

Man Who Pushed Subaru: ...oh. 

::Seishirou and Subaru go to the park and Sei-chan sets Subaru down on a park bench by a beautiful sakura:: 

Subaru: Seishirou... 

Seishirou: Subaru... 

Subaru: Seishirou... 

Seishirou: Subaru... 

Tamahome: Miaka... 

Miaka: Tamahome... 

Seishirou: ::turns to look at them:: Get out of our series! 

Miaka and Tamahome: Sheesh... ::disappear:: 

Subaru: ... 

Seishirou: Oh no... did I ruin the mood? 

Subaru: ::nod nod:: 

Seishirou: Hmm... what can we do about that... how about I just carry you off into the bushes and ravish you there? 

Subaru: Sounds good to m--... wait... am I Tokyo Babylon Subaru or X Subaru? 

Seishirou: ::after they ponder for a bit:: Oh well... we'll let the readers decide. ::picks up Subaru and carries him off into the bushes. Various sounds follow, until...:: 

Seishirou: Checkmate! 

Subaru: Damn! You ALWAYS beat me in chess... 

::both of them look up as they realize they're being watched:: 

Seishirou: Uh oh... they figured out we aren't screwing... 

Subaru: ::to the readers:: Can't you see that we don't NEED that in our relationship? We have LOVE... or at least a really good illusion of it. 

Seishirou: Yes... we're waiting until we get married. ::puts arm around Subaru's shoulder:: Let's go back to the apartment and play some more chess. 

::they leave:: 

THE END 

...::Hokuto runs in:: 

Hokuto: WAIT! I didn't even APPEAR in this!! 

Authors: Well, we couldn't... we didn't know if this was X or Tokyo Babylon. 

THE _REAL_ END 


End file.
